Em Watches Stuff: January 2025
The Substance, Nosferatu, Challengers, DtMF, and more
Happy 2025! I hope you’re trudging along the gloomy month of January with your pjs on as much as possible. This time of year is a great time to catch up on all the movies and TV shows you’ve ever wanted to see while we hibernate and wait for spring.
Below are my brief thoughts on the movies I watched this month, along with some songs and podcasts I’ve been listening to.
If you’ve been watching or listening to any of the same things, let me know your thoughts :)
THE SUBSTANCE - 1000/5
I knew The Substance was a good movie when I saw a disgusting, disfigured, grotesque monster on screen and I felt — rather than fear — sadness, empathy, and despair.
If only Elizabeth could see herself as beautiful — or, at the very least, be okay with not being beautiful by patriarchal standards — then the events of the entire rest of the movie might never occur.
This is clearly exemplified by the date sequence. Or rather, the “getting ready for the date” sequence. I think this is one of the movie’s most powerful moments, as it is so grounded in reality. I think everyone has experienced the feeling of frustration when you just don’t look how you want to look. You have nothing to wear, your hair isn’t cooperating, you’ve messed up the winged eyeliner on one eye but not the other. Finally you give up, because you rather stay home than go out and look ugly. What a terrible thing, really. That we would sacrifice the potential for real life connection in fear of being perceived by others as ugly. Or rather, finding ourselves to be ugly.
That’s exactly what happens to Elizabeth when she foregoes her date. We’ll never know, but it’s very well possible that if she had gone on this date— not even for love, just for connection, perhaps to remedy her loneliness— she may have stopped taking the substance much sooner. Her date could have illuminated her beauty, so that she could see it herself.
Another moment in the film I want to talk about has to do with Monstro Elisasue. In the third act, after many false endings to the story, the substance is abused one last time and thus creates Monstro Elisasue — our most disfigured and disturbing iteration of Elizabeth thus far. Monstro Elisasue emerges and greets herself in the mirror, akin to Sue upon her creation. It’s difficult to read Elisasue’s reaction to herself, but it’s definitely not horror like we, the audience, might be feeling. She pokes the eyes out of a photo of Elizabeth Sparkle and pastes it onto her face — perhaps just her version of applying a bit of lipstick or tousling hair. It doesn’t appear, at least to me, that this action connotates a true rejection of oneself or self disgust. After all, Elisasue winds up back at the New Year’s Eve televised event.
To many, the choice to have Elisasue at the New Year’s Eve event could read as a kind of over-the-top, “let’s get one last shriek in” choice by the film. However, I think we can also see this as a final moment of self acceptance. How she comes to this self acceptance may be the one point I would love clarity on — however I’m happy to believe that this self acceptance might just come with this version of Elizabeth: a monstrous version that hasn’t learned patriarchal beauty standards yet, perhaps.
Elisasue views herself through some other standard of beauty — a viewpoint we as audience members might not even be able to adapt. I mean, she puts on her finest ballgown and curls her (one single) hair after all, right?
The Substance is one of the grossest movies I’ve ever seen, but it’s so worth it. I’m cheering this one on for all the awards this year.
CHALLENGERS - 0/5
This was easily one of my least favorite movies I’ve ever seen. I had mildly high expectations because everyone I know liked it.
But I’m sticking to it: this movie was badddd!!!
My main critique of this movie has to do with the character motivations and scene conflicts. Pretty much every conflict or resolution is brought about through lust. Are they beefing with each other? It’s because they’re horny. How will they reconcile? They’ll have sex. I mean, I guess… But I also don’t really believe that’s an explanation for things. How the character use and have sex is only interesting in so far as it represents more dynamic emotional turmoil or underpinnings.
While I’m happy to allow one or two scenes that rely on the messiness of sexual desire (do they love each other or hate each other? maybe they just need to sleep with each other…), not every scene can be this way. Otherwise, it feels like you (the writer, the director, the actors) never made a decision. Or worse, you yourself don’t know what the motivations are.
I grew weary and apathetic towards Zendaya’s character, whose emotional manipulation appears to have been applauded as “slay” by the general public.
Other issues I had: the world of professional tennis playing felt one dimensional and poorly explained. Is it normal for coaches to sleep with their trainees? Or to marry them? Why do these rich kids who grew up going to boarding schools for tennis have no money anymore? I understand it’s a fictional story, but the questions I had repeatedly took me out of the story and instead made me think about how poorly written it was.
If you wanna see Zendaya be hot and do some good modeling (not acting), go see Challengers!
If you were hoping for a spicy and thrilling sports drama with characters you are at least vaguely able to root for, go elsewhere.
THE REMARKABLE LIFE OF IBELIN: 4/5
The Remarkable Life of Ibelin is a Norwegian documentary film that tells the story of Mats Steen, a young adult man who was born with Duchenne muscular dystrophy. As a result, Mats is wheelchair bound and struggles to make connections in his life. He writes a blog and plays video games. Mats’s family’s biggest fear and sadness comes from the possibility that Mats will never experience friendship, love, connection, or comradery in his life.
When Mats dies at the age of 25, his family discovers the password to his blog. To his blog, they make a post to let his followers know of his passing. To their surprise, they are inundated with messages from strangers who speak of their close relationships and friendships to Mats. But they know him as Ibelin Redmoore, as he is called in their online World of Warcraft guild.
The film then divulges into an animated retelling of Mats’s life as Ibelin. The film uses saved chats from the game combined with animation based on World of Warcraft and talking head style interviews to piece together a full portrait of the life lived online by Mats, unknown to his family.
Through this retelling of Mats’s online life, we learn of the deep connections he made — how he reunited a distant mother and son duo through the game, helped others through their depressions, and was always a listening ear. However, Ibelin is hiding something from his online community: that he is sick and disabled in real life, in deteriorating condition, and likely to die soon.
Ibelin declines invitations to in-person meet-ups of the online community, and in his blog posts he often talks about dreams of riding a motorcycle or talking to girls. We see just how limited he is by his condition — not just physically, but also in the online world where he can run, jump, and talk to girls. What Mats wants and needs is connection. Yet even in the World of Warcraft guild of Starlight, where the physical barriers he experiences in the real world are gone, Ibelin cannot be vulnerable, which in turn limits the depth of his connections with others.
This made me reflect on the limitations we put on ourselves. That yes, there are physical limitations in this world. And yet, we will find ourselves recreating those barriers even when we find ourselves in a new place, in a new world, with new people…
Eventually, Mats shares with his online community the truth about his life. His Duchenne, his mortality, and inability to reach the proper keys to play the game at times… It’s clear that Ibelin fears the reaction of his fellow guild members. He fears that this information might change the connections he’s forged.
The film ends with footage from Mats’s funeral. Some of his online guild members fly in to be there. Others gather online and hold a ceremony there, as they continue to do every year since then.
It’s impossible not to shed tears watching this documentary. I really commend the way the filmmakers made this a story about Mats. They easily could have made this a piece about the validity or quality of relationships forged online, or the advantages and disadvantages of online communities, and so on.
Because obviously, I had these ideas in my head as I watched the film and we heard from many World of Warcraft users, each with their own stories of how the game helped them in their lives. At one point I thought to myself, wow, are their only loners and depressed people playing these games? Which is quite a judgmental thought to have, really. Like there aren’t depressed and lonely people everywhere, participating in every hobby. Who cares how you’re finding connection and community, so long as you’re finding it. Is it any less valuable or legitimate because it’s online?
I’m giving this film a 4/5. I can’t give less than that when I was weeping by the end. It’s short of 5/5 only because the beginning of the film sometimes felt a bit slow, and the World of Warcraft animation sequences sometimes played out a bit too long for me.
If you end up watching this film, let me know what you think!
NOSFERATU: 2/5
I’m not really embedded in the vampire or Nosferatu lore and culture. I know there was a silent film made of Nosferatu that is now seen as a kind of silly, rather than terrifying, relic from the past. That being said, I don’t have strong opinions on this movie. I didn’t know what to expect going into this movie, and I feel like I know just as much about it after having seen it.
Perhaps it’s my lack of knowledge on the previous Nosferatu movies that adds to my lackluster experience, but I found the movie to be quite straightforward and yet unclear at the same time. Count Orlok stakes a claim on Lily-Rose Depp’s character, Ellen. Orlok then sets off to claim his bride, Ellen, whilst bringing along a deadly plague. He is seemingly all-powerful, yet requires signature from Ellen’s husband on a contract in order to lay his claim to her. Ellen is seemingly our protagonist (???), but she is also the victim as she becomes possessed. Her only agency comes from her decision whether or not to sleep with Count Orlok in the end — if she does not, everyone she loves will die, and if she does, she dies. The mechanisms of this situation — combined with the way the movie treats its female characters — frustrates the viewer as Ellen has no real choices of her own. I hoped for a twist at the end, to play with the conditions outlined by the contract and perhaps give Ellen a chance at survival.
The way the plot plays out in Nosferatu, unfortunately, makes all of the female characters feel quite reductive and one dimensional. Ellen is the crazy, possessed woman who misses her husband. The film regularly sexualizes her. Her bouts of possession look like writhing in sexual pleasure (or pain?), and her sexuality is the only way she is given agency in the film.
I found the character motivations to be lacking and unclear. In the end, I felt that the movie’s plot would simply follow whatever were the whims of Count Orlok and the filmmaker. If they would like to see Lily-Rose Depp in a shear top writhe around a bed, or have some gore for the audience, the plot would be manipulated accordingly.
I can see how if you’re a long-time fan of vampire stories, gothic architecture, sweeping misty mountain landscapes, or any of the previous Nosferatu films, this remake will be just what you want. With my limited familiarity on the topic, I felt this movie likely stuck to the traditions of the genre in a way fans would agree. But for me personally, it was just a kind of horny yet boring vampire gothic.
MUSIC:
DeBÍ TiRAR MáS FOToS - Bad Bunny
Em’s favs from the album*:
NUEVAYoL
BAILE INoLVIDABLE
WELTiTA
KETU TeCRÉ
TURiSTA
PiTORRO DE COCO
LO QUE PASÓ A HAWAII
DtMF
*ok so basically all of them i guess lol
FERNANDOCOSTA:
I know basically nothing about this artist because I literally just discovered a few of his songs when I was at a billiards bar with some friends. Anyway, these are two of his songs I heard there and enjoyed.
Fumando Serio
Bandolero
Juanito Makandé:
Same exact story for this artist. Just discovered him randomly at a bar in Murcia and was vibing…
Niña Voladora
Cuando Te Empecé a Querer
PODCASTS:
Escaping a Cult with Bethany Joy Lenz - Dear Chelsea
Aron Ralston with Blair Braverman - You’re Wrong About
If I Ruled the World: The One Where Everyone Tries Crack - What Now? with Trevor Noah
Why is the pool at Buckingham Palace a secret? - Search Engine
Everyone Should Try Being Gay with Karamo Brown - Dear Chelsea
January 6th and the Case for Oblivion - Radio Atlantic